Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Boobs are out for the taking
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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