There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sponge bath it is.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
