Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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