do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize