did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
