Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
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Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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