I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Randomize
