Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
