Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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