Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize