She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
