Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
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