My room smells like vodka and shame
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
