I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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