I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
