Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize