I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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