Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
