Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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