dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
