Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
