I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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