I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
