I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
