non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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