so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
