Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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