counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
