tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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