told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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