Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
