i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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