dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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