just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
