So drunk its hurt
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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