You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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