They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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