we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
