Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
