how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
