the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found puke in my bra..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
