So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
