I met the friendliest cop last night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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