Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
