i barfeds in our rink
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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