McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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