we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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