I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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