he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
