tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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