butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
