Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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