Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
