You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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