she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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