we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
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I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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