ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
